Case 08: Does the Place Underground Exist, or not? (9)

“Without searching or giving a burial to the young boy who had gone missing nearly sixty years ago, they buried everything in the darkness. They built a memorial afterwards, but it always remained as a negative memory. In the Christian world, it’s known as having a cross to bear, and that is the true nature of the atmosphere that covers over this school since long past.”

…Ah.

Everything ended before it even began. It was the atmosphere of this institute that I’d constantly felt: the strangely insular, closed-off nature. Instead of thoroughly experiencing and enjoying my allotted years in a positive way, the school culture made me feel like I was barely getting by.

“When Ayana Takamura disappeared, there might have been a teacher who recalled the existence of this underground space. Or due to it being an old story, its existence might have been forgotten completely -- but as evidenced by the fact that a settlement was reached with the Takamura family, this school's culture of keeping scandals out of the public eye has been passed down from generation to generation. Even if you put a lid on its existence, it won’t simply disappear.”

I felt I had heard something similar before.

That’s right—if I recall correctly, in Krishna-san’s story, those were Ayana Takamura’s words.

So in short, that means that what Sako had said back then about this school being distorted since its foundation – it wasn’t just that the design of the school building was based on the Marian faith, or the poor way of treating the memorial monument, but in something that was connected with the two: the idea of complete escapism, of closing one’s eyes to what one does not wish to see.

After knowing the true nature of the insular atmosphere of this institute, I gulped down the bitterness swelling up inside me, and asked:

“I heard there are many suicides in this university, so was that the reason?”

“Yes, it is. A negative atmosphere is connected to the negative thoughts of people after all. Places of frequent suicides are created in such a way. Not to mention the clock tower, which had nothing to do with the school originally, was located nearby - well, you could call it bad luck.”

“Then, in the end, what was Ayana Takamura trying to accomplish?”

“Who knows.”

“Who knows--? You don’t even have an idea?”

“I’m a contrarian, after all.”

“Huh?”

“Knowing that her wish is for us to imagine it, I’m not so naïve as to imagine it up for her.”

Her words hit me like a splash of cold water, and made me remember.

That’s it – That was exactly it. When you realize it, it becomes reality. Was Ayana Takamura trying to make us imagine the underground space? And in that underground space, was she trying to conceive the worst things imaginable from the depths of our mind? And that would end up manifesting through the negative thoughts that had been accumulated through the taboo words posted throughout the school. The shape of people’s fear itself would manifest in its original form.

“That’s why you shouldn’t think about it.”

I nodded vigorously in response to Yoishi.

At any rate, I emptied my head of all thoughts, and focused single-mindedly on following Yoishi.

Relying on the dim light from her cell phone, we continued forward.

In the deep darkness resembling the deep sea – only the sound of Yoishi’s steady footsteps echoed.

Both myself and Yoishi, we had left our shoes on the roof, and only had our socks on now. We both walked on the ground, not knowing whether it was wet or dry. The temperature was neither hot nor cold, only a lukewarm air surrounded us. Holding up the light from the cell phone wasn’t enough to see even a few meters ahead, I couldn’t tell if my surroundings were wide, or if the ceiling was tall. I felt as if I was in a vast underground lake, and it also felt like I was present in an ancient ruin that had been destroyed and buried. Forgotten gods from far off lands were looking down on me, and even dinosaurs that were supposed to be extinct were wandering around—

Right then, I vigorously shook my head.

I can't imagine it. This is the world that Ayana Takamura, a denpa of the highest order, wished for, and whatever we think of with fear in our minds could become a reality.

But—Even though I thought that, I was afraid.

Feeling myself melting away little by little, I was scared to death.

“…H-Hey Yoishi.”

It was pathetic, but I was about to ask her if I could hold her hand, when—

“We’ve arrived.”

Yoishi suddenly stopped, and focused the light from her cellphone somewhere.

There, between the collapsed rubble and debris—

Something white and shiny was sitting in the narrow darkness.

For a moment, I couldn't make out what it was, so I turned the light of my cell phone toward it as well.

And the instant I realized what it was – I leaped towards Yoishi.

It was the corpse of high school girl.

It was a corpse, but it retained a beauty beyond the concept of all the corpses I had seen in books and at funerals. Her eyes were closed and her soft lips were slightly open. Her cheeks were translucent white, and her shoulder-length hair was wavy, as if it had been groomed. But all of it shone slimily, reflecting the light as if it were wet. And naturally, there was no sign of life from her at all.

“No way, Is this…?”

“Yes, this is Ayana Takamura.”

It was—

It was… a perfect sculpture.

I had seen it before on an occult website. Adipocere, an organic substance that is formed when a corpse is preserved in almost the same condition it was in when it was alive, by changing the fat in the body from liquid to solid under low temperature with a certain level of humidity. The characteristic feature of the body is that the skin and hair shone like a wax doll. I had only seen photos of the famous Italian girl Rosalia*, but this was much more than that. She had a divine presence, as if she would open her eyes and start talking at any moment.

*TL/N: Rosalia Lombardo is a famous exceptionally well-preserved mummy of a young girl in Italy.

“Did this girl -- I mean, did she jump off from the school building five years ago like us -- and came here alive? And she died here, because she couldn’t find a way out?”

“Probably.” Yoishi answered quietly. “This person probably saw too much. She may have been able see ghosts, She may have even seen the patterns of erosion in the human spirit that taboo words achieved. That’s why, she tried to control all of it. She tried to control it all, and to accomplish something with it. What that was - no one knows anymore, and it's best not to think about it. The fact that in this school, which was founded in an attempt to create the Virgin Mary, had various distortions in its origins, yet the fact that she still conceived – perhaps you could call it a miracle.”

“…What the hell do you mean?”

“You could say that she was probably the first woman in history who successfully conceived a virgin birth.”

“Huh…but, this person was…”

I was about to mention what happened between her and her father – when Yoishi shook her head.

“Say, have you heard of Pseudocyesis?”

“What is that?”

“In the broadest sense of the word, it’s also what’s known as a nocebo effect. Remember when you chanted ‘Agyousangyou’ and believed you had lost your guardian spirit? It’s the opposite of that. In other words, she was not pregnant.”

“H-how do you know such a thing?”

“Because—”

Yoishi answered.

“The strange rain that recently occurred at Musashino were menstruations caused by this place.”

...Eh?

“M…menstruation, that means…”

“Yes, menstruation - or a woman's period - is when the lining of the uterus is expelled with the blood, which happens when fertilization does not occur. It doesn't happen to pregnant women. Whether she had relations with her father or not, I don’t know the truth. But I suspect that because she was not fertilized, countless pieces peeled away from this place defined as the womb. It was perhaps small animals and their pieces that this womb gathered to protect its vital composition, in opposition to her thoughts.”

“…J-just wait a second. Didn’t you just say that Ayana Takamura was the first woman in history to successfully conceive a virgin birth?”

“Conception did occur. But it was not done through regular insemination. By believing she was pregnant, and by denying the father with her soul, she ended up created this nightmarish corridor. And the child she believed in her womb was--”

That instant—

I sensed an even darker presence lurking in the depths of the darkness.

A blackness darker than black.

A darkness deeper than dark.

It had a width that surpassed the ceiling, whose location I didn't even know; it covered an overwhelming width, one I couldn’t even imagine. As I recognized it, all measures of instrument in my head started going crazy.

“…W-what the hell…is that?”

Something enormous was wriggling and squirming, slowly moving in the darkness.

While staring at it, Yoishi – suddenly collapsed.

With a pained groan, vomit and excreta spilled from her mouth.

In front of a malice only she could see -- she was now vomiting painfully.

“---This is wrong.”

Yoishi grimaced, her eyes shining in pain.

“This kind of conception… is wrong.”

With those words—

I realized. Up until now, was there any malice in Ayana Takamura’s actions? Were they not the result of pure, innocent, untainted actions devoid of any corruption? That is why Yoishi did not vomit in the clock tower, nor in the Miiko incident, nor in the library. Because she didn’t feel any malice there. Because coarse feelings like malice were not mixed in.

“She just didn't like the impurity.” Yoishi spoke. “She disappeared before she could corrupt the world around her -- and yet, she was reborn here in combination with the countless negative thoughts and malice that she herself collected. What inseminated her was the innumerable malice and the unrestrained egos of people that she herself collected.”

Hearing that, I now knew that that the lump of darkness I saw above me was alive.

But it was still something in a form I didn’t understand. It was something that was repeating self-denial in a tormented manner, trying to figure out how to break itself down and form itself anew.

And just when I thought that, something rises up inside me as well.

That’s right. The black mass writhing in the depths of the darkness was—

It was just like me. The figure without a shape was me: unsure about what kind of person to be when it went out into the world, and who was completely at a loss for what it should become. The me that raged like a rising cumulonimbus cloud, with the ego I couldn’t throw away, and the dogma I carried, which had been concentrated and fermented to the point of decay, and which continued to churn out obnoxious theories. Self-denial. The ultimate self-hate. The irrepressible loathing that comes when facing your mirror-image up close. A doppelganger in the occult -- what a perfect example. The feeling of fear and repulsion from one’s shadow. it came to me suddenly, and with the feeling of my stomach churning, I threw up there as well.

“…What the hell is that? What did Ayana Takamura give birth to in this place?”

‘Give birth to’. I had ended up using those words unconsciously, but—

Somehow, I was so sure of it that I couldn't take the words back. Takamura Ayana had given birth to something here. This was the womb, and this lukewarm darkness was amniotic fluid. And that thing here right now was a baby, struggling to get out of here, trying to become something.

“A new Ayana Takamura.”

Yoishi spoke in a whisper.

“She incarnated herself here.”