Case 06: Rororo (4)

In the coffee shop on the second floor in front of the station, I fumed to myself as I poured in a large amount of milk and sugar into my coffee.

After what happened, I had stood up and stormed out of there and headed straight for the station. I still had some time before my part-time job started, so I decided to head to that coffee shop again. It was only after I had entered inside was when I remembered that this was the place where that ghost in the striped shirt -- Kouhei Niijima had been, but it was too late to go back out now. However, I was relieved to see that the atmosphere in the store was as calm as ever and there were quite a few customers. For the time being, I took a seat by the window, far away from the seat I had taken the other day, and was fuming by myself after I recalled Sako’s words.

To begin with, it’s just wrong to ask Yoishi to collect that book. If she knew there was a book that would kill her if she read it, her eyes would light up, and she’d declare something like: ‘Oh, how wonderful’, and end up insatiably reading it to the last line in no time. In the end, what if she ends up dead like Kouhei Niijima? Will that bastard Sako take responsibility? Already, Yoishi is standing out even less than usual. She’s always brooding by herself, and it felt like if I were to take my eyes of her, she could disappear from this world.

“But you know…”

I looked down on the palm of my hand holding piece of paper, and sighed.

It was handed to me by Sako. In it were written instructions on how to ascertain which book is ‘Rororo’ in the library and such. According to him, the book is on a unique spiritual level and can thus be recognized.

“It's surely not a good thing to have a book like that in the library forever.”

I muttered to myself and held my head in my hands.

Kouhei Niijima, a student from the country-side like me, committed suicide on a certain day.

Kouhei Niijima, who had few friends, who was fond of spending time in the library, died after leaving a description about a certain book. In short, Kouhei Niijima, who committed suicide, found the book that Sako’s looking for: ‘Rororo,’ the book that kills anyone who reads it. Thus, he got bound by some sort of taboo words and ended up killing himself, is how it all happened, right?

Words that bind people --- I'm not sure if that's possible, but I don't have enough arguments to deny it at this point. The ghost Yoishi saw was muttering ‘Rororo’ with its mouth. Supposing the two of them didn’t conspire to scare me beforehand, there was no way it was a coincidence.

Unable to think straight, I sighed and gazed out of the window.

The weather had become worse while I was on the way here, and it was raining already.

On the arcade street in front of the station, a lot of shoppers were drenched from the sudden downpour. In the eaves of a commercial building, a few people were taking shelter from the rain, looking up at the sky. And among them, I suddenly caught sight of a girl, wearing the uniform of our affiliated high school. She was a tall and slender, a beautiful girl with a somewhat dignified look. I checked my watch. It was still 2 pm. Aren’t high school classes still on? I wondered, but oh well, I looked away. In the first place, my institute is distorted. I'm going through a lot, and everyone is going through a lot. If I intervene in other people's affairs every single time, it’ll be too much for me to bear.

But speaking of distortions, Sako also mentioned that there were many suicides. I’d heard a couple of rumors about that, too. The first one happened while I was back in Fujieda for my summer vacation. A girl from our university killed herself in a boy’s bathroom somewhere. Another incident that supposedly happened a few years ago, was when a housewife from a neighboring town came all the way to our university grounds and burned herself to death. But I didn’t witness either of those incidents, and neither did any acquaintance of mine. It's just one of the rumors floating around within the school. But if what Sako said is true, and the school culture is one where everything is swept under the rug, then few students would have heard about it.

"This school is distorted."

Sako's words seemed to express what I had vaguely felt about this university. Everything ended before it even began. I can't help but feel that same sense of isolation. Then there's some person who deliberately created a book that would kill you if you read it, and placed it in the school's library. For me, that's the kind of crazy behavior that’s enough to make my heart turn cold.

"It seems... I ended up entering an unpleasant university."

Before I realized it, those bitter emotions had once again surged up inside me. Thanks to Krishna-san, I had begun to believe that this university was a place where people were responsible for themselves, and I could enjoy myself any way I wanted as long as I kept myself together -- all that had transformed into bitterness, as if I had just discovered that someone had kicked over a new bike I had just bought.

I recalled the emotion that Yoishi detested enough to make her vomit: the 'malice' that humans carry.

That dark feeling, which once killed the heart of Yoishi Mitsurugi.

"Because she's been on the verge of breaking down over something like this once...”

And I recalled Sako's words at the same time.

Does that mean that like Yoishi, something terrible happened to Krishna-san in the past? Does it mean that there was an incident that would have caused her heart to collapse? Sako had mentioned that it happened five years ago. And that that was the time when he and Krishna-san first met.

Let's see, Krishna-san is twenty years old right now -- so it would have been around her third year of junior high school or first year of high school. About the same age as Yoishi is now. What the hell could have happened back then? I hate to imagine that Krishna-san, who's so wise and strong, could be so easily broken. To me, she's like a Bodhisattva*, a Mary, a guardian angel. Just knowing something once existed that was enough to drive her to the verge of collapse, it makes my stomach feel as heavy as if I'd swallowed concrete.

I shook my head, and then…

I felt someone’s gaze upon me, and when I looked up, I noticed a high school girl sitting directly across from me in the seat where Yoishi and I had sat on the other day. Even though she was sitting down, she looked as slender as a model. Her shoulder-length, short haircut looked very appealing.

“…Huh?”

I looked outside the window once more.

Wasn’t she the girl who was just outside taking shelter from the rain? I wonder if she came inside this coffee shop because the rain didn't look like it was gonna stop. I stole a glance at her once more; she looked out the window as if to turn her eyes away from me. There’s no doubt about it. It’s the same girl with the Koumei school uniform. Her white blouse and black tie were slightly wet, and her bangs were still sticking to her forehead.

The young girl ordered something from the store employees, and then silently took out a book. After that she quietly kept looking down at the book. I also took out my textbook on Introduction to Economics, which I hadn't even read, from my bag and opened it. I felt like if I didn't open a book in response, I wouldn't know what to do with my time.

In fact, for some reason, I kept stealing glances at her.

How can I explain it? --- I thought she was really beautiful. It was partially that, but also because I felt that this slow passage of time was beautiful. Outside, the filth of the city was gently being washed away by the rain, and inside the store, the sound of mellow piano music drifted in the air. The image of a young girl looking down at a book with an intelligent gaze was very picturesque.

Whether she was skipping school or not, I concluded that it was the proper thing to do. It’s fine if it’s only once a week, and maybe I need to have this kind of time too. And then, all of a sudden, the thought came crashing down on me.

The reason why Kouhei Niijima couldn’t speak to the ‘girl’ in the library.

Perhaps he was in the same state of mind as I am now.

Kouhei Niijima must have seen a certain girl in the library. That girl was also always in the library, and she might have been somewhat lonely. And a library is a place that carries a unique atmosphere. The scent given off by countless books. Books that had been carefully read for a long period of time, and the quiet fervor given off by the people who concentrate on the words within. In this world, vivid romantic fantasies are just a hindrance. However, they do notice each other. They notice each other, but they don’t want to destroy that beautiful, harmonious world. That border that lies between the two, how should I say it? I feel like it’s a sparkling jewel in the crown of life.

In fact, if you were to ask me if I could talk to the beautiful girl who was so focused on her book in front of me, I would say that it was quite impossible. It was like a fear at the idea of mixing a foreign substance like myself into something that was already perfect.

--So that’s how it was.

I finally realized.

Kouhei Niijima wasn’t cowardly, or introverted -- he was undoubtedly, more sensitive than most people. The moment I realized that, the tip of my nose twitched. I felt the clumsy and sincere nature of the deceased Kohei Niijima, I felt we could have been friends, and although it was too late now, I regretted his death.

“You left too soon…”

I muttered in a tone that was a mixture of sorrow and affection. When –

Some kind of words, reached my ear.

When I checked, it was the young girl, muttering something with her lips. It could be that she was so engrossed in the book that she was unconsciously mouthing the lines of the characters in the story. Or, it could be that she found a phrase in the book that struck a chord in her heart.

I just gazed at her with a pleasant feeling.

I admired the movement of her lips, her long eyelashes that were cast down.

Eventually, she looked up. Her eyes met mine head-on. It was so natural, though, that I didn't feel the need to look away. I ended up staring back at her as if I was entangled in her eyes. Her eyes… were exceedingly black, and in the depths of those black eyes, I felt there was another, deeper color. How many shades did black have? I wondered, when I suddenly noticed.

Her lips moved. She kept murmuring something slowly. And then, the words reached me.

What were those words? I couldn't remember anymore.

And I would later find out that around this time –

A large number of tadpoles had rained down on Kichijouji station.